September 23, 2010
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Is there a difference between bitter and jaded?
Is there a difference between bitter and jaded?
This question came up as I was thinking about a recent situation I was a part of. This summer I had a business opportunity that I thought would turn out really well. It was supposed to be a great collaboration between all these creative folks, and we were all supposed to make a lot of money. (Or at least, gain a lot of exposure). By the time it was all said and done, processes that were put in place, were changed, guidelines were thrown by the wayside. Needless to say, a lot of time and effort was wasted setting up things that turned out to be useless. Things that would’ve helped us as a business where disregarded, and there is now no way to track what happened. And while for the most part, everyone faired well, the group itself didn’t.
I’ve come to realize that a group of people doing things together, does not equal to an organization. When the dust settled, a lot of holes appeared, and everyone pointed fingers. People who fought vehemently to do things one way, were quick to lay the blame on others when asked why it didn’t work. No one was accountable for anything. There was always an excuse. There is so much banter about should’ve/could’ve/would’ve that frankly, I’m exhausted just opening the emails.
Which brings me to my question. Am I bitter? Am I jaded?
I think bitterness is when someone holds onto the past and cannot move forward because of something that happened. Sort of like my Uncle’s ex-wife. They’ve been divorced for over 20 years because he gambled away all their savings, and to this day she won’t speak to him, (or any of us for that matter, since we’re all guilty by association). I recall when my Great Aunt died, we were all at the funeral. In Chinese custom, we had to bow to the casket and walk in line to greet the grieving family. My Uncle’s ex-wife just glared at us as we paid our respects. She didn’t say a word, and I haven’t seen her since.
To me, jaded is when someone realizes that things weren’t what it seemed, and that person has the ability to move past it. I suppose my resolve to move on and continue to do my own thing, would put me into the jaded territory. I’m not paralyzed or consumed by such negative thoughts that I can’t make progress. I think this current event was more or less a wake up call, a hidden blessing in disguise. Someone poked through the mirage and pushed me towards the real horizon, and I am apt to move ahead. I am tired, but I am invigorated and motivated to do more. For me.
Comments (6)
Good for you. You had to at least try, right? Whether it worked out or not, at least you tried and you learned something from the experience. Yes, it sucks when things don’t work out as planned. I’m told that failures will eventually lead to success if you keep trying. I’m glad you’re motivated to continue on.
Sounds more like I’m giving myself a pep talk on my own issues. LOL I guess it just goes for everybody. We all need a really good pep talk once in a while.
@etoiledelune - Yeah, it’ not so much the trying and failing that gets to me. I have no problems with that. The issue is when protocols are set up within a group system and people autonomously decide that it’s okay to disregard it later on. And usually when it’s a democracy, majority rules. It wasn’t the case here. But yes, I am very motivated to move on, especially when I am starting to see my hard-earned savings (the little that I do have) dwindle away. I think it’s a matter of being more selective at this point, and to do things that are beneficial only to me and my business, rather than spending that time worrying about others. Someone posted a really good quote the other day on my FB feed: “Never allow someone to be your priority while you remain their option.”
I think it’s great that you can bounce back from this so fast and move forward!
That’s a good quote. I must remember that one.
I feel like being jaded eventually leads to bitterness. however, what you’re talking about in terms of being more selective sounds more like you learning about yourself and others. =)
hi! hahahah
@ksiu1 - I think so, too, if someone can’t get over the issue… what’s up!!! hahahah!
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